function text() {
};

text = new text();
number = 0;

// textArray
text[number++] = "If I got paid for what I say, I'd be very rich or very quiet."
text[number++] = "Optimism cannot change the laws of physics."
text[number++] = "I live in a different world from you, and it's a much happier place."
text[number++] = "Life is more complicated than freshman chemistry."
text[number++] = "Save the fizz."
text[number++] = "Since I gave up hope, I feel much better."
text[number++] = "Individuality is a group project."
text[number++] = "Anagram test: 'Hang Indestructible Father; Repeat.'"
text[number++] = "I keep hearing these awfully annoying voices that talk a lot but don't say anything."
text[number++] = "He thinks in complex sentences."
text[number++] = "What does this do, or is it just art?"
text[number++] = "I suppose that does look isomorphic to a cow..."
text[number++] = "The function, besides infection, of your frictional fraction of affection is as a faction causing friction, depending on the inflection of the infliction."
text[number++] = "It's infinitesmal, but I made it larger so you could see it."
text[number++] = "He's too short to be cute."
text[number++] = "If you have artificial intelligence, then you must have artificial stupidity."
text[number++] = "Suddenly, a poem came to you."
text[number++] = "All it takes is posterior patience."
text[number++] = "What's an 'ammeter'? It measures 'am's, doesn't it?"
text[number++] = "Here again my image of the onion comes in."
text[number++] = "What's a good perturbation color? Blue looks good..."
text[number++] = "And where is there? Well, there is here."
text[number++] = "Always eat the red ones, hoping to get that funky dye."
text[number++] = "If I had known it was a holiday, I wouldn't have come either."
text[number++] = "I'll use a purple imagination here."
text[number++] = "Don't make me laugh - I'm holding paint."
text[number++] = "Good tea. Nice house."
text[number++] = "If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is probably not for you."
text[number++] = "Free if you call from work."
text[number++] = "Don't make me stop this car."
text[number++] = "If you can't say something nice, you'll fit right in."
text[number++] = "What would you do with a brain if you had one?"
text[number++] = "It's just my job to dish it out. It's your job to eat it."
text[number++] = "Just think - the way I dress will be popular after the nuclear war."
text[number++] = "This is part of that equivalence class of arrows."
text[number++] = "Well, that looks pretty convenient."
text[number++] = "What's another word for 'thesaurus'?"
text[number++] = "Just keep examining every low bid quoted for zinc etchings."
text[number++] = "When I was in elementary school, we played baseball. Now, it was not as fancy as it is today. Home plate was a block of concrete about so big [measures out a cubic foot]. Now, you might have swung at a low ball once, you you never swung at a low ball again."
text[number++] = "What was the greatest thing before sliced bread?"
text[number++] = "I shouldn't tell this story, but..."
text[number++] = "Don't say that! I've got horses to shave."
text[number++] = "This might not work in third-world countries like Idaho."
text[number++] = "Random fixes correct random errors."
text[number++] = "Acupuncture is a jab well done."
text[number++] = "He had a photographic memory that was never developed."
text[number++] = "A midget fortune-teller who escapes from prison is a small medium at large."
text[number++] = "A man's home is his castle, in a manor of speaking."
text[number++] = "A hangover is the wrath of grapes."
text[number++] = "When two egotists meet, it's an I for an I."
text[number++] = "In democracy your vote counts. In feudalism your count votes."
text[number++] = "If you don't pay your exorcist, you get repossessed."
text[number++] = "Every calendar's days are numbered."
text[number++] = "Bakers trade bread recipes on a knead-to-know basis."
text[number++] = "Does the name Pavlov ring a bell?"
text[number++] = "She's got all the money money couldn't buy." 
text[number++] = "Big hand's on 120, little hand's on 'E'."
text[number++] = "Every time I look in your eyes I see St. Peter wave."

increment = Math.floor(Math.random() * number);

document.write(text[increment]);